Lesson Learned: Being a mom is hard..BIG TIME but I love every second of it.

It is ever present everytime our parents would scold us “Hintay ka lang pag naging magulang ka. Then malalaman mo ang hirap” We always think na madali lang mag alaga ng baby because all they ever do is poop, drink milk and sleep. Well what we always think is very wrong.

Taking care of a baby is hard. Ang liit liit pero may times na kelangan 2 pair of hands ang gumagalaw. Mahirap kasi mapupuyat ka and it would really test your patience. Mas lalong mahirap kapag may post partum depression, which I’m experiencing right now and hell I hope and pray na mawala na because ang hirap sobra.

To the boys na nagbabasa ng blog na toh, kapag nagka asawa kayo at nagka anak…paki-usap ko lang sa inyo, learn how to tell, deal with and to understand your wife. Kung kayo nafrufrustate because of our sudden mood changes, crying moments and depressed moments…i-times two niyo and frustration namin. This is something we girls cannot control kasi hormones ang gumagagalw dito. Snapping and making us away is not going to help. Tip ko lang sa inyo, makinig na lang kayo sa girl during this time because that is what we need. For you to listen to us. Kahit man lang umacting kayo na you understand what we’re going through when you’re not kasi hindi naman kayo ang nanganak, enough na yun.

Right now my eyes are panda eyes na because of the constant changes in my sleeping pattern. Like yesterday, Kyle woke up hungry. After drinking his milk my hopes of getting him to sleep ay nawala. The both of us stayed awake for 2 hours (2-4 am) talking…well actually it was kyle who stayed awake for two hours while I was battling with my sleepiness. And it was me who did the talking…kyle did the gurgling and gigling sounds. at 4 am Kyle was crying like it’s the end of the world because he’s sleepy…

Nagkakamuscle na arms ko!!!! well, my left arm to be exact…now I just need to learn how to carry kyle using my left arm para magpantay muscles ko…oha, beat that! may instant weights ako… :))

Mommy life is fun but hard. Hard because there will be many changes in your life and you need to adjust to it asap. Like your sdleeping pattern should match your baby’s sleeping pattern, deal with post partum depression (if you’re experiencing it) things like that..Fun because you get to see your baby smile at every waking moment and you get to see him grow from the day you got him out of your tummy until present. In a matter of days, kyle will be turning two months old. How time flies…it was like yesterday na he was still kicking in my tummy, practicing soocer movements and using my bladder as his ball. I told nga my husband…masasad ako sobra kapag si kyle nagstart na magschool…kasi school means he’s growing up and less time na… :(

Being a mom at the age of 22 was something that I never planned or even thought about. Like they say, life is full of surprises.

My mommyhood started August 8, 2010 I think that was around 1 or 2 in the morning when my water broke just after I peed. Quite stupid of me to think about what the OB said, “Malalaman mo kung water mo nagbreak kapag para kang nag weewee ng tuloy tuloy pero walang amoy. Kapag weewee may amoy.” when I just finished peeing. So I stood there inside the bathroom looking like an idiot not knowing how to find out if it was my water that broke. Given no chose I carefully made my way back to our bedroom praying that no “weewee” would leak. AT 1 something in the morning, I ended up calling my mom asking her “ma, pano malalaman kapag nag break na yung water?” while laughing my head off. My mom kept on asking if I’m feeling any contractions at all I told her “I don’t know, am I suppose to feel anything?” while continuing to laugh my head off. It was my brother in law who found me in the bathroom looking all worked out because I really dont know if it was my water that broke or it is my urinary system gone awry. I duno if the sight of pool of water with a small amount of blood made him panic or what but he started yelling “manganganak na si loriel” while running around the house waking up everyone…everyone except my husband who didnt believe him at first.

Our moms usually shove in our faces their hardships in carrying us for 9 months, hours of hell labor and giving birth. When I was not yet a mom, there are time when I scream at my head “I didnt ask you to carry me for 9 months or go thru hell just to bring me out in this world.” Now I feel guilty of ever thinking those words. Labor pain was hell even with the anesthesia. The process of injecting anesthesia was also hell. I acted like a kid who kept on saying “are we there yet?” over and over during long hours of drive. I kept asking “tapos na ?” “tapos na?” Pushing the baby out was also a major pain and major hard process. 2 nurses were already helping me push the baby out by pushing my tummy. It created bruises after a while. The nurse who was coaching me was twice my size and she was on the top of my tummy pushing. She kept on saying “okay mommy inhale hawak sa bakal and push” and I took it literally. The bakal thing was there to help the mom push the baby out by pulling it. For almost one whole stupid hour I just kept on holding it like it was nothing. At the last 5 minutes, when my OB announced that if the baby doesnt come out on this last push, I’ll have to undergo cesarean, the nurse coaching me finally said “okay mommy, inhale, hilahin mo yung bakal and then push” dun ko lang nalaman sh*it! para dun pala yun!!!! kelangan pala hinihila yun!!! at the last 5 minutes, baby Dustin Carlisle was born 8:54 am…:))

Being a mom at the age of 22 is somthing I did’nt expect or planned. Many would say “sayang, ang bata mo pa” or “there are still many thing you should have experienced bago ka naging mommy” Well, I would tell these many people that yes, bata pa nga ako to be a mom but it is what I’ve always wanted. Looking at kyle, I wouldn’t have it any other way. If I didnt have him at the age of 22, I wouldn’t have kyle in my arms right now.

Right now, mommyhood is a challenge I’mfacing. Syempre I’m new at this whole thing. Waking up every three hours to feed kyle, dealing with his feeding sumpong the battle between breastfeeding or formula, getting sick andhurrying up to get well so that he wouldn’t catch it, changing diapers under 3 minutes, giving him a bath under 5 minutes because he screams hell during bath time. These are some of the challenges I am now facing. Challenges that sometimes irritates me to hell but at the same time I’m enjoying it when I;m not so tired or didn’t lack any sleep.

Getting cold feet a few days before the big day is what I was expecting to hit me. I was expecting myself to start questioning myself if I am doing the right thing entering another chapter of life at a young age. Am I marrying the right guy? Questions such as these never crossed my mind. Is that even normal???? hahahaha! I guess it never crossed my mind because I am sure of the guy I’ll be spending my entire life with. What hit me a few days before the big day was solving last minute problems of the reception. Days before the big day, as old people say the couple should avoid going out of the house because they attract danger. I spent the last week of my life as Loriel Samson going out of the house and fixing a lot of things. hahahaha! Thank God the saying didn’t happen. So cold feet and questioning my decision never happened. Questioning myself of the reception whether or not the food taste good or is the food enough to feed the guests are the questions that kept bugging me the entire day. :D

Next, the whole Panda lost his ring incident after 13 hours of getting married. Am I disappointed? Angry? Sad? Answer: Nope! I didn’t get mad at him. I saw how he went crazy looking for the ring for 3 days straight and how disappointed and depressed he was. Enough na sakin yun. I figured that if I get disappointed, angry or whatever bad feeling would only lead us to fights which is what I am avoiding to happen. And besides, he didn’t mean to lose it. Imagine, his 3 days of constant whining about the ring almost drove me nuts.

Before the wedding day, I was really excited to the point that I didn’t get enough sleep to lighten up my panda eyes. The day of my wedding, I can feel hat my eyes are swelling due to lack of sleep. I am excited because the things that I had once imagining myself doing…seeing his face first when I wake up and the last face I’ll see before I fall asleep, going home at his house instead of my house for 22 years of my life, sharing everything with him and all the things a girl could imagine I finally be able to do.

Now its the 16th day of my married life and guess what…there be times that I feel homesick. I miss seeing my sisters and the almost always arguments that we have. I miss my doggies barking at 4 am in the morning and 6 pm at night. I miss the constant nagging of my mom and sometimes my dad. I miss my room and my bed. I miss the long stairs I have to climb to get to my room and down to the kitchen. I miss everything in my old life.

Lesson: Getting married is easy. Adjusting to a married life is not. Its like going to school. Every time we enter a new level of school year life we are blind at first because we don’t know how things will work out. Hopefully my married life would work out fine… :D

How do I start describing the pregnancy thing? Let’s start with describing it as a totally unexpected event. I was 1 week delayed. Pregnancy didn’t come across my mind because I was thinking that my monthlies went berserk because of the stress I was encountering during the school year. But still a test wouldn’t hurt right? So Christmas Day I finally convinced myself to take the test. I was sitting on the toilet waiting for the result while panda was on the line waiting for the results as well. Tada! Merry Christmas!!! Its positive. I started hyperventilating inside the bathroom because I couldn’t believe it. I asked for another test because I believed that the test was defective. So I did the test again. Results: Positive. So there I was sitting down the toilet totally lost for words. Its was after 5 minutes that everything sink in. I’m having a baby. I am going to be a mom.

Accepting the results was not hard for me. Its the what to do next that scared me. I was half way through the semester. Stopping would be a total waste because 3 months to go, graduate na ako. So I decided I won’t stop schooling. One of my decisions was to keep my pregnancy to many people a secret. Its not na I’m not proud of my baby. I love my baby with my whole heart, its just that I need to finish my schooling. My graduation is also at stake.

The achie of one of my friends said that she’s happy because abortion never crossed my mind. I am proud to say that it really did’nt. Its my baby and I could never hurt such innocent creature. I told my barkada, I can kill to protect my chind but never will I be able to my own. And besides, my conscience won’t be able to handle it. Yes, the moment I found out I was pregnant at some point I was indenial. The whole denial thing didn’t even last 10 minutes. The moment I was able to regain my composure, I immediately started looking for baby names… :))

For me, this experience is both a bad thing and a good thing. Bad thing because I have to start watching the food I take. No softdrinks allowed. To my horror, I’m not even allowed to finish a whole bar of chocolates, thanks to my Mother’s side genes of diabetes. I cannot go anywhere alone…except for the bathroom and my room. My mom’s constant eagle watching everytime I go up or down the stairs and basically almost everywhere we go because I am clumsy when I am on my feet. The moment I feel pain I have to drop everything and confine myself on the bed for the rest of the day. I have to make do with the menthol pahid pahid on the forehead everytime major headache strikes since I cannot take any medicine even biogesic. I am only allowed to eat fish!!! No more seafood because anti allergy is a big no no. I am hating weighing scales because they tell me when I am getting fat or heavy. My dad’s constant reprimanding everytime he feels na I am already doing too much house chores. The kitchen cabinet that I promised myself would be my project this summer can no longer be my project since I am no longer allowed to step on stools. The good thing about it is its a blessing. Yes, although I am missing out on many things I still consider my pregnancy as a blessing. I believe things happen for a reason. This pregnancy happened for a reason and I have yet to find out what it is. The feeling of my baby moving and kicking inside my womb makes me happy. A lot of mothers say that the constant moving and kicking of the baby keeps them awake at night, for me, its just like panda’s snoring…It lulls me to sleep because my baby moving and kicking no matter how hard keeps me assured that  it is still alive.